


teach me gently how to breathe

by crucios



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 12:56:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16974981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crucios/pseuds/crucios
Summary: Sometimes, on Niccolò’s bad days, he gets caught between conflicting needs.





	teach me gently how to breathe

**Author's Note:**

> I was attempting to sleep last night but instead I kept thinking about Marti carefully learning how to navigate Nico’s moods and needs. And, well. I just couldn’t shake the need to write. Thus, this happened. Enjoy?

***

Sometimes, on Niccolò’s bad days, he gets caught between conflicting needs. Part of him feels the overwhelming urge to self-isolate. To lie in quiet solitude where nothing and no one can get close enough to hurt him. The other part of him craves contact. Wants to lean towards Martino as leaves towards the sun. Wants to be held and reassured. Wants someone to say, “You are not alone.”

Those days can be hard for Marti to navigate. One wrong move and all of the fragile threads holding Nico together might break. Gaging which approach to take can be tricky. But Marti has learned that the best way to understand what Nico needs is to ask him. Sometimes it takes a little bit of time. Sometimes even Nico himself can’t seem to figure it out. But they always get there in the end.

Today is one of those days. When Marti returns home from school, Nico is more-or-less in the same place he left him this morning. He’s curled up small in Marti’s bed, just a Nico-shaped pile of blankets in the centre.

Marti shuffles across the room quietly – wary that Nico might be sleeping – and carefully lowers himself down into the nest of blankets and pillows beside him. Eventually Nico surfaces from under the covers, like pushing through a thick layer of snow. When his eyes focus he offers Marti a small but brittle smile. Like he just can’t quite manage it.

“Hey,” Marti whispers.

Nico blinks a little sleepily. “Hey.”

Marti’s careful not to get too close. Not until he knows where Nico’s head is at. “How’re you feeling?”

Nico shrugs. “Tired as fuck,” he breathes.

“Do you want me to leave?” Marti asks carefully. Because it may be his room but right now it belongs to Nico.

“I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Marti says easily, fingertips wary and feather-soft on Nico’s cheek. “Do you want me to stay?”

Nico makes an unintelligible noise.

“Ni, babe,” Marti teases with a sympathetic smile. “You’ve gotta be clearer than that. Communication, remember?”

Nico laughs, a delicate and soft exhalation. Like the flutter of wings. “You can stay,” he mumbles into the blankets.

Marti shuffles a little closer. Small and careful movements. “Sure?”

Nico nods. He tilts his head up towards him and Marti knows. Leans forward and catches his lips in a kiss he hopes tastes like comfort. Nico kisses back with a gentle sort of urgency, and Marti does his best to hold him in place and anchor him.

When they part, Nico looks at him with overtired and glassy eyes. “Stay,” he says again. And this time Marti can hear the unsaid _please don’t leave me_.

“I’m here,” Marti assures. He presses a lingering kiss to Nico’s forehead and pulls the blankets around them like they’re an unbreakable barrier against the world. “Always.”

***

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song Shelter by The XX.
> 
> You can find find me on [tumblr](http://crucios.tumblr.com) and [twitter](http://twitter.com/akielon).


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